Snow White and the Eight Dwarfs by Stewart Auty

Running time approx. 60mins.
Yes folks – you read that correctly – one more dwarf and a few other characters that aren’t in the original story. (We like to think we improve on the original story most of the time.) Snow White is lovely, her stepmother is wicked, the dwarves are a bit dim…not a lot more you need to know really!

19 SPEAKING PARTS, 1 MICROPHONED VOICE OFFSTAGE, SEVERAL SINGERS/DANCERS, 2 NON-SPEAKING PARTS.

Suggested songs:

  • Flash, Bang, Wallop (from Half a Sixpence)
  • Isn’t She Lovely (Stevie Wonder)
  • Poison Ivy (Billy Thorpe & the Aztecs)
  • Killer Queen (Queen)
  • It’s A Sin (Pet Shop Boys)
  • Everybody Hurts (Helping Haiti)
  • I’m Only Sleeping (The Beatles)
  • Dance the Night Away (The Mavericks)
  • Poison (Alice Cooper)
  • Fix You (Coldplay)
  • Love Will Keep Us Together (Captain & Tenille)

All our scripts provide links to backing tracks for the songs, which can be purchased and downloaded for a very modest fee. Our scripts also contain production notes regarding, scenery, costumes and props.

NO ROYALTIES, PHOTOCOPYING LICENCE INCLUDED.

Here’s a sample

Part of SCENE 1…

(In the throne room of the castle. The whole cast is on stage (except the

WOODLAND CREATURES and DWARVES), arranged like a wedding group

with the King and Queen in the middle. A photographer, complete with old

fashioned tripod is about to take a picture.)

PHOTOGRAPHER

Smile please, all smile. (Points at the Queen) You too, Madam, smile! (Turns

to audience) She’s going to be a problem, I can tell!

QUEEN IVY (through gritted teeth)

I am smiling. See this face? That’s a smile!

PHOTOGRAPHER

Well, if that’s the best you can do…. Oh! What a picture!

(SONG – FLASH, BANG, WALLOP!)

PHOTOGRAPHER (taking down his tripod and camera)

Thank you all very much. I’ll have the proofs ready in about a week. Bye!

QUEEN IVY

I just don’t see the point of all this.

KING

You don’t see the point? A record of our marriage?

QUEEN IVY

And what was all that about smiling? I smile all the time, why can’t anyone

tell when I’m smiling?

KING

It’s not always easy, dear. It’s something to do with the look on your face.

But I’ve come up with a solution. I’ve just appointed a Court Jester, to

lighten our darker moments with mirth and merriment.

QUEEN IVY

Mirth and merriment? Count me out. Come on, we’ve things to do. Dismiss

everyone, or they’ll be here all day. They’ve got work to do.

(VOICE OFFSTAGE)

Go on! You’ve got to go and meet everyone!

(Enter CHESTER THE JESTER, stumbling as though he has been pushed)

CHESTER THE JESTER (Looking around, first at cast, and then at audience)

I don’t really want to be here. I’ve just started today in my new job in the

castle. Mr Macnamara interviewed me (MACNAMARA raises his hand in

acknowledgement), and I must have been the only one who applied, as I got

the job.

MACNAMARA

Welcome to the Palace, Chester. Allow me to introduce Chester the Jester!

CHESTER THE JESTER

I don’t know anything about jesting. Mr Macnamara is the butler, and apart

from him, I’ve only met one of the kitchen maids, Snow White. She is

beautiful, don’t you think? And to help me relax a bit, and give me some

time to think, we’re all going to sing a song for Snow White.

SONG – ISN’T SHE LOVELY? (PAGES join in)

QUEEN IVY

I think I’m going to be sick! (Runs off, holding her mouth)

(Everyone leaves except SNOW WHITE and CHESTER the JESTER on stage.)

SNOW WHITE

That was so kind. But I don’t really know your name.

CHESTER THE JESTER

It’s Chester. But I suppose everyone will call me Chester the Jester, because

that’s who I am now. I’m not sure about this.

SNOW WHITE

About what?

CHESTER THE JESTER

My job description says I have to make people laugh. Jokes on demand, any

time, any day, any place. A bit of juggling, perhaps some magic or sleight of

hand, some acrobatics now and then, but mostly jokes. I’m not very good at

remembering jokes.

SNOW WHITE

Humour isn’t just about jokes. There’s usually something funny in most

situations. You just need to draw attention to it, and people will laugh. If

you’re observant, and a good people watcher, you’ll see funny things

everywhere.

CHESTER THE JESTER

You make it sound easy. You’re just trying to make me feel better, because

I’m new.

SNOW WHITE

You’re not the only new one round here. I’ve got a new stepmother, and

she’s horrible to me. She doesn’t like me one bit, I can tell.

CHESTER THE JESTER

Was that her in the group photograph?

SNOW WHITE

Yes.

CHESTER THE JESTER

No offence, but she looks a right misery to me.

SNOW WHITE

She’s mean and spiteful. She hates me.

CHESTER THE JESTER

Tell your dad, then. Explain to him. He’ll understand and try to help.

SNOW WHITE

It’s not easy, because my dad is the King.

CHESTER THE JESTER

The King? That makes you a ….

SNOW WHITE

A princess. Yes, I know. It can be quite a burden sometimes.

CHESTER THE JESTER

But you should have said. You don’t look like a princess. I would have

curtseyed, or something.

SNOW WHITE (laughs)

You see, you’ve made me laugh, and I’m having a miserable time because of

my stepmother.

CHESTER THE JESTER

And if she’s married your dad, I mean, the King, then she’s now the Queen?

SNOW WHITE

Yes. And the power has gone to her head. Her role in life seems to make my

life as hard as possible. She makes me dress like a maid. That’s why you

didn’t recognise me as a princess. I really think the Queen would like to be

rid of me for good.

 

Part of SCENE 5…

 

QUEEN IVY

Spit roasted venison is a real favourite of mine. Not because of the flavour,

but because it makes a right, royal mess in the kitchen and Snow White will

have to clean it up. All by herself – it will have kept her occupied for hours.

I’d better inspect the kitchens!

(The KING returns)

KING

No need my dear. Absolutely spotless. Even you will find difficulty finding

fault.

CHESTER THE JESTER (To the audience)

But she’ll have a pretty good try!

QUEEN IVY

I must see for myself! (She pushes the KING to one side and exits.)

KING (calling after her)

But really, my dear…I’m telling the truth…(to the audience) Oh dear! This

really isn’t anything like my first marriage. I’m beginning to have second

thoughts…

QUEEN IVY (returning)

I don’t believe it! Cleaning that kitchen should have taken the rest of the

day! She’s had help!

(Rings bell. Different sound again. They all react))

(Enter MACNAMARA and MAID)

QUEEN IVY (cross and suspicious)

Have you helped Snow White in the kitchen?

MACNAMARA

I’ve been too busy serving the meal, your majesty. I’m a butler, not a

common skivvy.

MAID

And I’ve been upstairs fluffing your pillows, your majesty.

QUEEN IVY

And what about you? ( pointing at CHESTER) You’re new, aren’t you?

CHESTER THE JESTER

Me? Yes, I’m new.

QUEEN IVY (correcting him)

I’m new, Your Majesty, if you don’t mind.

CHESTER THE JESTER

Sorry your Majesty. I forgot to recognise your new found status.

QUEEN IVY

What are you on about? Did you help clean the kitchen?

CHESTER THE JESTER

No Your Majesty, I’ve been holding up this statue. (Holds up his hands)

QUEEN IVY (delighted)

Ah, my dear! My wedding present to you has arrived! I had a special statue

made of you. It’s very lifelike.

KING

Wedding present? Was I supposed to get you one?

QUEEN IVY

Not at all my dear.

KING

Can I see it?

QUEEN IVY (hastily)

No, not yet. (to CHESTER) Where’s the plinth?

CHESTER THE JESTER

The postman said that some day your plinth would come.

(Everyone groans at the bad joke)