Sleeping Beauty by Lynn Brittney

Running time approx. 50mins.
Not your usual take on this old fairy story! It starts off traditionally – Princess is born, fairies are invited to the christening to bestow lovely gifts, Black Fairy is left off the guest list and she really throws her teddy out of the pram. So, cue a vengeful appearance of the magical Goth and her minions, Crabby Patty and Sarky Sam, to put a curse on the baby Princess. It is decreed that she will prick her finger on a spinning wheel when she is sixteen and die. The good fairies transmute the death bit into a hundred year sleep (big deal) and then this particular fairy tale goes off at a tangent. For a start, Princess Aurora grows up to be a bit of a swot, who would rather read a book than go to a party (and that includes her own sweet sixteen bash). Crabby Patty and Sarky Sam have to smuggle a spinning wheel into the Palace and persuade the Princess that she really needs to learn the craft in order to get into a prestigious college. So, she pricks her finger and the whole Palace falls asleep. Sadly, the Prince, who is supposed to save her, would rather play computer games and lay on the sofa than seek some real action. Luckily there is a dog and a handsome local peasant lad on hand to organise a rescue. A play that will make all parents of teenagers laugh and groan in equal measure!

17 SPEAKING PARTS. UNLIMITED PALACE COURTIERS.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THERE ARE NO SUGGESTED SONGS FOR THIS PLAY but feel free to add your own, if you wish!

Our scripts also give full production notes regarding sets, costumes and props.

NO ROYALTIES, PHOTOCOPYING LICENCE INCLUDED.

Here’s a sample

 Part of SCENE 1…

The court of King Albert and Queen Victoria are assembled, in all their finery, for the christening of their baby daughter, Princess Aurora. The King and Queen are sitting on their thrones and the baby is in a crib in front of them. Beside the crib is a pile of christening presents. The Lord Chamberlain is standing upstage, with his staff, and everyone who enters has to whisper in his ear, then he announces their name. A couple enter and whisper to him.

LORD CHAMBERLAIN

Lord and Lady Muck!

(Lord and Lady Muck go up to the King and Queen, curtsey and bow, then they hand over their present to the Queen.)

QUEEN VICTORIA

Thank you so much for the christening present, Lord and Lady Muck. You are so kind.

(The couple move away and join the other courtiers.)

KING ALBERT

I suppose it will be yet another mug, spoon and bowl set.

QUEEN VICTORIA

Albert! Don’t be so ungrateful! We’ve waited such a long time for our precious baby daughter. I’m just grateful that she’s healthy. I don’t care how many feeding sets we get.

(QUENN MILDRED enters and whispers in the LORD CHAMBERLAIN’s ear)

LORD CHAMBERLAIN

Queen Mildred of Bestovia!

QUEEN VICTORIA

(getting up, rushing over to MILDRED and giving her a hug)

Mildred, my dear! I’m so glad you could come! Where’s your husband?

QUEEN MILDRED

Fighting a war with our neighbours again.

QUEEN VICTORIA

Not again! What is it about this time?

QUEEN MILDRED

Who knows? Arthur never needs much of an excuse to start a fight. They don’t call him Arthur the Aggressive for nothing. I was just glad to have an excuse to get away. How is your little one?

QUEEN VICTORIA

Come and have a look. (They go over to the crib) Isn’t she adorable?

QUEEN MILDRED

Absolutely perfect. You are lucky to have a girl! Look at me. Four boys and I’m already going grey!

QUEEN VICTORIA

Albert, let me introduce my dearest friend, Queen Mildred. We were at school together, you know.

KING ALBERT

How do you do? Did I hear you say that you were from Bestovia?

QUEEN MILDRED

Yes.

KING ALBERT

Oh, that’s such a long way! Thank you so much for coming to the christening.

QUEEN MILDRED

It was a pleasure, believe me.

(KING ALBERT motions to QUEEN MILDRED to sit on his throne. He then stands between the two Queens. The three good FAIRIES enter and whisper to the LORD CHAMBERLAIN).

LORD CHAMBERLAIN

The Pink Fairy, The Blue Fairy and the White Fairy!

(All the assembled courtiers applaud them as they walk to the thrones. They curtsey to the King and Queen).

QUEEN VICTORIA

Oh thank you so much for coming, dear fairies.

PINK FAIRY

We are honoured to be chosen as godparents to the princess, Your Majesty.

BLUE FAIRY

Very honoured.

WHITE FAIRY

Very, very honoured.

QUEEN VICTORIA

But where is the Black Fairy? Did she not come with you?

KING ALBERT

(clearing his throat) Ahem! I forgot to tell you my dear, but I decided against inviting that dreadful woman to be a godmother to our child.

(Everyone gasps.)

QUEEN VICTORIA

What!? Have you lost your mind? Do you know what she could do to us?

KING ALBERT

Now, now dear. Let’s not panic. I just couldn’t face inviting her, I’m afraid. Not after her behaviour at our wedding.

QUEEN MILDRED

What did she do at your wedding?

QUEEN VICTORIA

Well, she got annoyed because we hadn’t seated her at the front of the church, so she kept turning the vicar into a frog.

 

Part of SCENE 2…

 

16 years later. In the Palace Throne Room again. PRINCESS AURORA enters with her friend PRINCESS ANGELICA.

ANGELICA

…so I said to him “In your dreams!” and walked off and left him!

AURORA

But, Angelica, I thought you liked him!?

ANGELICA

No. He’s seriously boring, Aurora! Besides, there’s plenty more where he came from. Why don’t you go out with him?

AURORA

I don’t like any of the boys that are around at the moment. They’re all so…so obsessed with themselves. All they talk about are clothes and going to the gym and their hair. I’d like to marry a real man. Someone who likes dogs and horses and does woodwork.

ANGELICA

Huh! Well good luck with that! I don’t know anybody at the Palace who does woodwork! What sort of person does woodwork?

AURORA

A useful one.

(The KING and QUEEN enter, with QUEEN MILDRED)

KING ALBERT

Ah, Aurora! Getting excited about your sixteenth birthday party are you?

AURORA

Not really, father.

QUEEN VICTORIA

Oh, why’s that dear?

AURORA

I’m just not very fond of parties. All that noise and head-banging music…

ANGELICA

I don’t know why I’m your best friend, I really don’t! We don’t like any of the same things! I love parties!

AURORA

That’s because you love dressing up and putting on loads of make-up.

ANGELICA

Well, duh! Don’t all girls?

AURORA

Not me. I’d rather go for a walk or read a good book.

ANGELICA

Oh, I have to take you in hand! You are so serious!

QUEEN VICTORIA

Yes, Angelica, I’m very worried about Aurora. She doesn’t seem to like the things that other young people like, at all. I think that you two should go through Angelica’s wardrobe and see if she has suitable dress for Saturday. Run along.

AURORA

But mother….

QUEEN VICTORIA

No. I don’t want to hear any ‘buts’. You just run along now and start behaving like a normal teenager.

(AURORA and ANGELICA leave)

KING ALBERT

I must say, our daughter is a strange one.

QUEEN VICTORIA

Well, never mind. At least we have a daughter. Thanks to your law banning spinning wheels, she’s still alive and healthy. I agree though, it would be nice to seeing her enjoying life a bit more.

KING ALBERT

We’d better go and talk to the cook about food for Saturday. I suppose, knowing young people, it will have to be oceans of pizzas and burgers. Yuk! I can’t stand the stuff!

QUEEN VICTORIA

Just think of pizzas as toasted cheese dear. It’ll make you feel better.

(The KING and QUEEN leave. There is a spooky sound effect and the BLACK FAIRY appears, followed by her two assistants.)

BLACK FAIRY

Huh! So the Princess Aurora is about to celebrate her sixteenth birthday is she? We’ll have to do something about that.

SARKY SAM

Yeah, boss. It ain’t respectful the way they got around that spell of yours.

CRABBY PATTY

Yeah – they think they’re clever, don’t they?

BLACK FAIRY

Yes, well we’ll see about that. I have a plan – which involves you two transforming yourself into geeks for Saturday night.

SARKY SAM

What!!

CRABBY PATTY

No way!

BLACK FAIRY

Silence! You will do as you’re told! Now, we shall go back to my castle and we shall make you two into unbelievably boring, well-scrubbed teenagers.

CRABBY PATTY

I think I’m going to be sick!

SARKY SAM

This will ruin my street-cred.

BLACK FAIRY

Shut up, the pair of you! Any more of your whining and I’ll make it a permanent change and you can spend the rest of your miserable lives as…as…teachers – or something equally nerdish!

CRABBY PATTY

OK.OK! Keep your hair on!

SARKY SAM

Yeah, we’ll co-operate boss! Just don’t – please – turn us into teachers – anything but that!

BLACK FAIRY

Well, come along then. To work!

(Sound effect. The BLACK FAIRY sweeps out and the other two follow her.)